Starling Bank has launched a new interactive tool designed to help couples navigate difficult financial conversations, following research revealing that money is a major source of conflict for two-thirds of UK partners.
The digital bank’s ‘Let’s Talk Money’ tool, aims to help users identify their specific “money language” to better understand their spending behaviours and compatibility with partners.
The cost of miscommunication
The launch comes off the back of a new study commissioned by Starling, which found that 74 per cent of UK couples speak different money languages. This misalignment is causing friction for 66 per cent of couples, often leading to delays in major life milestones.
According to the research, one in seven couples (14 per cent) have put off buying a home due to a lack of financial alignment, while one in ten have delayed marriage or starting a family.
Financial compatibility is now ranked as a top-three priority for people seeking a partner, sitting alongside sexual compatibility and shared interests—and notably ranking higher than shared political or religious beliefs.
Decoding the 7 Money Languages
Developed in partnership with personal finance expert Ellie Austin-Williams and relationship expert Hayley Quinn, the tool categorises users into one of seven distinct profiles:
- Scarcity Mindset: Regular savers who feel uncomfortable spending (32 per cent of the UK).
- Money Know How: Open books who make money work for them (23 per cent).
- Financial Avoidance: Those who bury their head in the sand (10 per cent).
- Protecting Privacy: Those who value independence and hide habits (9 per cent).
- Acts of Finance: Providers who show love through financial responsibility (9 per cent).
- Lifestyle Enrichment: Those who live in the moment and spend on experiences (7 per cent).
- Extravagant Affirmation: Generous givers who connect money to love (2 per cent).
“We have Love Languages, and now we have Money Languages, which we’ve created to give couples the vocabulary they need to talk about their finances,” said Becca Stroud, personal finance expert at Starling.
Opposites attract?
The tool has been road-tested by Olympian Tom Daley and his husband, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, who discovered they sit at opposite ends of the financial spectrum.
Daley, identified as having a ‘Lifestyle Enrichment’ language, commented: “I love to spend; on other people, gifts for my family, my children, and on experiences… Learning our money languages has been so enlightening; it really feels like opposites attract when it comes to our approaches to finance.”
Conversely, Black was identified as having a ‘Scarcity Mindset’. “I can be seen as the guardrail in the relationship,” Black said. “I like to save, but also make sure our family is set up for the future… We may speak different languages, but we also balance each other out.”
Breaking the taboo
Despite the friction caused by money, the topic remains a significant taboo. The study found that bringing up money on a first date is three times more likely to give Brits “the ick” (26 per cent) than talking about marriage or children (8 per cent).
However, the appetite for openness is there, with 64 per cent of people stating they like the idea of talking more openly about money with their partners.
Hayley Quinn, dating coach and relationship expert, added: “Most UK couples have a different money language, so rather than trying to fundamentally change your approach to money, the key is to understand and respect your partner’s.”
The ‘Let’s Talk Money’ tool is available now on the Starling Bank website.
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